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Tony Robbins Winning at the Game of Life #Audiobook #TonyRobbins #Anthony Robbins

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#Audiobook #TonyRobbins #Anthony Robbins <br> <h3>Auto Generated Captions</h3>

[Music]
but in the end the most important thing
is what’s the purpose of your life why
are you here that’s what we want to talk
about today we got a look at what makes
you really do what you do everything on
earth has a purpose and you do to that
purpose provides an inner drive that
once you tap into it can give your life
immense fulfillment it’ll also give you
certainty because you know right now
we’re in a world that’s changing so
rapidly that virtually every time you
turn around you hear about something
else that’s changing and I personally
get to deal with hundreds of thousands
of people per year I see about 250 to
300 thousand people a year in my live
programs and I hear so much excitement
and also hears so much fear about the
pace of change I mean we’ve all talked
about changes happening so rapidly now
in paradigm shifts all that stuff has
become so overused at this point that we
become numb to it but it’s true never in
the history of the world of things
change so rapidly so you need to find
something that’s eternal inside of
yourself that no matter what changes on
the surface this part of you does not
change it’s the part you come back to
the part that guides you the part that
really makes you fulfilled and that’s
your purpose because all of a sudden
when you find out a friend’s got cancer
or you turn around and you see that
35,000 people at IBM got laid off or an
entire industry disappeared overnight
because a new one was created it’ll give
you a way to find some good and
virtually anything your purpose is
available to you at any moment in your
life but you got to know what it is
before we get into it let me back up a
little bit here okay I have a good
friend is one of the most successful
financial people in the country he works
in all these financial markets he’s
incredibly successful businessman and I
know he’s working very hard right now on
a goal and I went to visit him recently
and boy he’s working hard and he’s gonna
achieve that goal but you know when the
goal is finally there then he’s gonna be
happy I thought no no no no you know
each moment we’ve got to be able to find
some sense of meaning for our life
something that is significant something
is useful and we all know this is not a
new conversation but as your coach and
as your friend in these tapes I’d like
to draw your attention to some things
that maybe you already know but haven’t
thought about for a while maybe get you
to put some of your focus into the most
important area life which is enhancing
meaning see all of us in life have to
have a reason to be here if all you’re
doing out there is going out and trying
to achieve goals and then you achieve
them and I’m sure you’ve run into that
trip up wire that says okay I’ve
achieved the goal now what right we
achieve the goal in your brain says is
this all there is see the purpose of a
goal is I’ve shared because so many
times is not to achieve the goal the
purpose of the goal is what it makes of
us as people who we become ultimately
with though we have to have a sense that
who we even have become has some kind of
meaning without that there’s not a
reason to live there’s not a reason to
get up there’s not a reason to go out
there and make it happen what’s really
controlling this man’s life is fear when
people say they’re cynical or they’re
pessimistic what they’re really
screaming out to you is I’m scared out
of my mind I’m afraid to dream again I’m
afraid to think about what’s possible
I’m afraid to really put myself on the
line and so I’m gonna go for something
I’m gonna stand for something I want to
put myself in line in a relationship or
my business or my vision to make a
difference in the world because you know
what maybe at one time this person did
that maybe they tried it several times
and it didn’t work and they got pain and
pain and pain pretty soon they didn’t
want the pain so they stopped dreaming
he stopped and visioning he stopped
coming up with meaning instead they try
to keep themself away from the pain by
saying well there’s no meaning at all
anyway but unfortunately that gives you
the ultimate pain because it gives you a
life without meaning and no one can live
a life that’s fulfilled without a sense
of meaning see we’ve been put here for a
reason the question is why and the
answer I think is different for every
one of us is different for me than it is
for you and yet it’s the same every one
of us has been put here every one of us
is unique and different and special and
I believe our Creator if I’m gonna use
the word God if I’m a God has put you
here for a reason
questions what is it God does not create
things without a purpose everything on
earth serves the purpose why are you
here what are you here to do what are
you here to become to create and to give
these are some of the most significant
questions that you can answer in your
life and even when you answer them I’m
sure that as your life expand you’ll
come up with better answers as you get
more experience and you get closer in
touch with your own innermost being and
maybe your closer in touch with your
Creator as well
dony were you going with this I’m really
going to the essence of giving your life
what you deserve which is knowing that
there are no mistakes knowing that every
little thing you do has a consequence it
can be a positive consequences if you
choose it the most powerful thing that
has consequence in your life though is
the thing we talk about so often but I
got to say it again and that is what’s
really ultimately shaping our lives our
decisions the first decision is the
decision about what to focus on where
your focus goes gonna determine how you
think how you feel what you do
ultimately what your life turns out like
what you’re able to contribute the
bottom line is we must find an
empowering focus out of any situation
the second decision that shapes our life
and the meaning of our lives are the
decisions that we make about what
something means meaning as ultimately
something we determined that’s the
exciting part about it and that’s the
scary part about it and the third
decision of course is what are you going
to do when something happens see so much
of the fear that we see in life comes
from the fact that most of us don’t feel
like we’re in control we’re running
around trying to control all the events
of our lives and every single one of us
is going to experience multiple
situations in our life that no matter
how skillful we are well we cannot
control the event well it’s just not
something that we can control because we
didn’t initiate it anytime you’re
dealing with other people this is gonna
happen anytime you’re dealing with
mother nature this is gonna happen
most of us in life are so afraid
something’s gonna happen that we can’t
control and therefore we’re gonna get
pain that we try to avoid those things
we can’t control we’re trying to shape
our lives where we spend our time who we
spend our time with what we do by
environments that we feel really
comfortable in when we feel like we’re
really in control in them but what that
does is it limits the shape and quality
of our lives we’ve got to be able to put
ourselves out there to discover what
we’re really capable of we’re putting
environments when we don’t know what to
do we don’t know what things mean when
we’re not sure it’s in those
environments that we grow the most it’s
in those environments that we discover
more of our true purpose as human beings
it’s there that our character is shaped
you know so many times we set goals or
we have dreams or we have plans and we
work our tail off and it doesn’t come
out the way we want and a lot of people
come out of those situations disillusion
or angry or resentful or frustrated they
look for someone to blame but you know
sometimes I really truly believe that
not getting your goal as part of the
design it’s part of the game plan
causing you to dig inside and discover
more of yourself to really begin to use
your real capacity as human being those
traits that are within you that only
expand when they’re challenged when
demands are made upon them
you know I truly believe that God is not
so much interested in our convenience as
he is in our character you know and I
also believe that because something
hasn’t happened right away when you
wanted it and designed – didn’t work out
doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen it’s
really a test of how committed are you
it’s really a test designed to make you
become more gods delays are not God’s
denials unless you give up of course if
you don’t do your part then of course
whatever you’ve envisioned will never
come to be but we have to be willing to
continue to put ourselves forth and know
that events will show up that we can’t
control so let me ask you a question you
go okay I understand all this Tony but
how do you ever have a sense of
certainty in a world that’s changing all
the time where you set goals you do all
the right things and it still doesn’t
always turn out right how do you live in
a world where suddenly something can
happen it could take away your whole
business or you know a storm could come
and take away your home or or some
calamity could happen to your personal
family or a disease could hit or or
someone could die how do you deal with
all that and the answer is you have to
know the one thing you can control is
not events where you control is what
things mean to you
and therein comes the secret to life
because no matter what happens in your
life the meaning of what has happened is
yours you get to determine it as long as
you’re conscious and you don’t allow the
people around you to teach you what to
think and as long as you don’t just go
on automatic pilot and allow your
nervous system to make up connections
that are false let me give an example of
what happens to people certainly by now
you realize that what you do is human
being is primarily driven by your need
to avoid pain your desire for pleasure
right but see all of us have learned
through life that certain things mean
more pain than others and so some people
are driven by their fear right to
experience the emotion of fear is the
most incredible painful thing they could
ever imagine so they’ll do anything to
avoid being in a fearful situation
other people are driven by their desire
to feel the sense of adventure
obviously they make decisions
differently they focus on different
things in life they can walk in the same
room as someone who lives in fear and
they’re gonna notice different things
they’re gonna want to sit in a different
place they’re gonna want to try a
different kind of vacation than someone
who’s trying to focus on how to be
secure what drives you are you driven by
guilt are you driven by your past when
we were to use the word driven the word
drive it really means to guide to
control or to direct something so what’s
guiding you what’s controlling you
what’s directing your behavior what’s
directing your focus what’s directing
the meaning you’re pulling from your
life what is it is it your parents is it
the competition you have with somebody
else is it wanted to prove somebody
wrong is it your desire to contribute is
it your desire for joy or happiness or
is it a sense of purpose that’s driving
you a sense there’s something out there
for you to do there’s something you’re
designed to evolve into to become to
share to give to create you don’t even
know what it is but you’re willing to
trust that each day more of its gonna
come out see whatever drives you
that’s what’s shaping your life and the
challenge is that most of us never
consciously decide what we’re gonna have
drive our life see we’re not
stimulus-response animals but we can be
stimulus response animals our nervous
systems are designed to help us they’re
designed to be a source of
decision-making they’re designed to help
us very quickly when you have an
experienced figure out what is the
source of that pain so we can avoid it
in the future what does that source of
that pleasure so we can have more of it
in the future but when we don’t think
things through when we don’t think
things through in an empowering way we
don’t have faith that there’s a higher
meaning we tend to settle like animals
for the lowest meaning that we can find
well this is happening because I’m a bad
person
this is happening because there’s
something wrong with me this is
happening because I’m just destined to
fail
or worse very often in life we don’t
even consciously think things through
our nervous system just makes quick
decisions hey every moment you’re alive
whatever you have a significant amount
of pain your brain says hey what is the
source of this pain and it uses three
criteria I’m sure you remember to
determine what the source of your pain
is it looks for something that is
happening about the same time you’re
having the pain that is unique because
after all you weren’t feeling pain a
moment ago you got pain now what
unique about this situation it looks for
something that is recent something’s
happening about the same time you have
the pain and it also looks for something
that is consistent something that
whenever you have had pain in the past
this has also been a factor in that
situation let me tell you how these
three criteria can help you you go out
one day when you’re a child and you
touch a hot stove you feel some pain you
pull it back your brain says okay what
was unique to that moment that gave me
the pain it looks around us is odd this
burner right and says what was happening
about the same time I felt the pain I
was touching this burner and what’s
consistent about it well maybe nothing
until you do it again after doing it two
or three times or maybe one time does it
hurt enough maybe one time is consistent
it’s like when somebody says to you
always do that you know I don’t always
do that yes you do you always do it I’ve
done it one time yeah but well that’s
always what human beings can make one
time consistent if it’s painful enough
so the bottom line is what do you learn
your nervous system learns you don’t
grab burners right you just don’t do
that and so in the future when you’re
trying to make a decision about what to
focus on what things mean and what to do
and you’re going by a burner one of the
options is not to go grab that baby just
for fun so as basic as this lesson is we
feel to realize that this simple system
that assists us so much and making
decisions because it helps us discover
what is the source of our pain or our
pleasures so we can avoid the pain gain
the pleasure in the future this simple
system can be misguided or misinterpret
information see here’s how it works so
give me an example I was doing a date
with destiny only a couple weekends ago
and um several people were having major
challenges in their life and one lady
just couldn’t get herself to really have
any meaning in her life and as I kept
digging digging digging the real problem
that she had is he felt lonely because
she felt disconnected because she wanted
to have someone she could share her life
with but she couldn’t get herself to do
that why would you guess someone
couldn’t get themself to be able to
share their life not hard to figure out
is it pain person obviously as I guessed
had a painful relationship in the past
which she had it was so painful that
she’d linked up in her head that
marriage because she’d had a previous
one that was painful equals death no
matter kind of keep you away from
getting into closer relationship right
how did her brain do that well she said
she was in this relationship it was so
great but after they got married this
man became physically abusive verbally
abusive he basically did everything he
could to control every aspect of her
life and the worst thing of all when she
finally got up developed the courage to
divorce this man he threatened dolly her
life but he also threatened their own
son’s life and when that happened she
got linked up marriage equals death to
not only me but potential loss of the
life of my child that’s even more than
the loss of her own life for her well
it’s not too hard to figure out that if
your brain says why am i feeling his
ultimate pain and it looks for something
unique and says well because I’m married
and then it looks around and says what
was happening about the same time I felt
the pain marriage and you say what was
consistent during the pain ago marriage
pretty soon you can avoid marriage but
it doesn’t stop there her brain also
linked up that the cause of her pain was
something else two men was after all
what was unique I have this man around I
was married to a man right and then
secondly what else was going on well
about the same time I was feeling the
pain I was with this man and sure enough
what was recent this man right all the
time I had the pain he was there every
time so sure enough all of a sudden
she’s avoiding all men but didn’t stop
there
she also linked up that the reason she
felt this pain was because she trusted
so as a result her brain linked up
unconsciously if you trust then you will
die now I would say to you the opposite
is true if you don’t trust if you don’t
have faith then you instantly die
internally you may not die physically
but you die emotionally because anything
that’s worth living in life requires
faith it requires trusting it requires
knowing that you can get out of the
chair and walk on this floor and when
you step out on the floor you don’t stop
and have to analyze can I do this and
you don’t weigh everything and think
about your weight and the structure of
the floor and what’s underneath that you
just trust otherwise you’d be
immobilized you have to trust the drive
a car you have to have faith to enter a
relationship you have faith to start a
business you have to faith when all of a
sudden somebody this company says these
35,000 people are gone into faith but if
you’re one of those 35,000 that there is
a better plan for you and that you will
now act on that faith and take action
and find that better plan that better
solution for your life you must have
that you lose trust you lose meaning
when you lose meaning you lose your life
again maybe not physically but certainly
emotional
and when you lose it emotionally the
physical loss of life often is not that
far behind medical researchers are now
proving the mind-body connection is not
some psycho babble but a physical
reality that the way we think in the way
we feel about our lives affects us
physically in fact dr. Chopra recently
shared with me that there is a new study
that was done in the state of
Massachusetts where they began to study
what causes someone to die of their
first heart attack before the age of 50
where they never get another chance I
was what was the number one risk factor
they wanted to know and they assumed
that what would cause someone to die
from just their very first heart attack
never get another chance would be a
person just had so much cholesterol in
their body the body wasn’t able to
recover and they found that that was not
the number one risk factor and they
thought well maybe that diabetes maybe
it was more of a genetic factor they
once again disproved that theory with
the Department of Health Education and
Welfare for the state of Massachusetts
states in their article clearly is the
most important risk factor determined
that you will die of your first heart
attack and not get a second chance is
what they call job dissatisfaction
you’ve got to have a deeper meaning for
your life than oh I’m on that grindstone
again or I’m on that treadmill
no wonder of those people life turn to
alcohol or drugs or television and even
then they can’t find something to
entertain themselves even then they
don’t sense any fulfillment because
distraction does not create a life of
significance distraction does not create
joy distraction will not give you what
you’re seeking drugs will not change
your life for the better
right what they’ll do is hurt you they
don’t create pain and there are all
kinds of drugs anything that doesn’t
expand you as a human being or allow you
to share more love and joy with others
in a natural way that enhances your
physiology and your mind your emotions
and your spirit is something you
probably don’t need you got to grow
you got to expand you got to contribute
you got to know that you’re here for a
purpose there are no mistakes there is a
meaning even if you haven’t found it yet
you must discover it and you know what
for most people they don’t discover the
meaning of their life until their life
is over what a sad place to be or until
they have a life-threatening illness or
until somebody very close to them that
they love is about to leave them
you don’t have to wait for the pain to
discover the meaning so why why no one I
found the purpose of my life you decide
what it is you discover it and you
decide this is it maybe later on I’ll
refine it I probably will but for right
now this is why I’m playing the game of
life this is what it’s about everyday if
I’m just being this way if I’m just
doing these kinds of simple things with
other people with myself then I know I’m
on track I know there’s a reason for my
existence we all have that I know you
know a story of Victor Franco right the
manner up man’s search for meaning
here’s a man who’s in a Nazi
concentration camp with pain everywhere
around him knowing any moment he could
be gassed or maybe spared and if you’re
spared he’d have the unique privilege of
going out and taking the dead bodies out
of those gas chambers putting them in
the big ovens talk about intense and yet
somehow in the midst of that pain he
found a deeper meaning the meaning was
that even though he was in pain in the
moment but somehow someday he would
survive this and he would come to share
the story so that this would never
happen to other people in the future he
couldn’t find a meaning in the moment he
found a meaning in the future and for
most of us the meaning that we want for
our lives is here today and it’s
preparing us for an even greater meaning
in the future if we’ll just use all of
our life’s experience the pain and the
pleasure to become more to prepare
ourselves for whatever it is that our
Creator has brought us here for to
prepare ourselves so that at the moment
of truth where we are needed we will
deliver and my real belief is we’re
gonna be delivering all along the way it
isn’t something that some day you’re
gonna do it’s something new every day
are doing you know my former spouse
Becky just recently lost her father and
it’s been a tough time for her because
in a very short period of time here
she’s lost both her mom and her dad and
that’s an event you cannot control and
God knows we tried you know three years
ago when they told us that father had
cancer they told us that he would die
within a period of anywhere from three
to six months and we just did not allow
them to tell him that for the obvious
reasons you know how odd I believe from
all the people we’ve learned from from
everyone from dr. Bernie Siegel to
Norman Cousins to dr. Deepak Chopra we
understand the mind-body
action if someone decides that because
they have some dis-ease in their body
what it means is they’re gonna die then
of course they will and fortunately he
never found out that diagnosis and what
we did is we kept making sure he had a
compelling future he had a sense of
meaning a variety of things that he was
needed for it was amazing how he
physically responded we had a trip
scheduled for him to go to Fiji on which
he went on and talking about how we
needed his help with our resort there
and helping some of the fugiens in the
garden because the garden for him
created so much meaning in his life it’s
about supporting about nurturing about
helping life along a little bit and so
he that he was excited about things we
wanted to do with his grandkids and so
we kept giving him compelling futures
and sure enough three months went by he
was healthy six months went by he was
healthy a year went by and through a
variety of interventions pretty soon he
seemed to be better until just recently
when we started getting phone calls from
his neighbors he lived up in a place
called Ram Colorado a little town with
14 people in it then he’s been a major
part of for years and years and they
started call us to tell us that they
didn’t think he could take care of
himself anymore so we flew out and
brought him back here and the first few
days he was in phenomenal shape it was
like he was completely restored being
around the grandkids and and being in
the environment he was all excited to
share about things that are happened in
his little town of Rann that he helped
to create there about all about the
calves that he helped to deliver and
about the planting season and how they
helped people through the winter and
some of the stories they’ve been telling
and he was just totally alive and and we
took him the doctors for a series of
tests they said they wanted to keep him
overnight the next day we called and I
spoke to his main doctor and he said it
looks like he just has a form of
meningitis so he said that’ll be really
easily treatable and he should be okay
and he said so don’t worry
he said we’re just gonna do a series
more tests because he’s a bit dehydrated
he lives in an altitude of about 11,500
feet and he’s not drinking enough water
and he said so you know we’re gonna run
a couple more tests he said next day he
said but I think he’ll be fine he said I
have to go out of town he said my you
know partner doctor will be working with
him so he said I’ve passed on all the
information you can check in with him
tomorrow well the next day Becky went to
go see your dad and I was out doing a
seminar and I got a phone call and the
phone call was that they’d done
additional tests and
they found out that the cancer had
spread throughout his spine and into his
brain and while it wasn’t treatable
before when they told us three years ago
it’s certainly not treatable now and
that they thought he would die within
weeks the worst part was though they
also told this to him before they told
it to Becky so he had no one there to
support him through the process or to
give him other options when I found this
out I became so angry with the doctors
cuz I focused on how he’d violated what
we asked them to do and how the other
doctors should have told his partner
doctor not to tell him yet to allow us
to talk to him to prepare him for the
situation that was so harsh it was so
unfair and and the meaning of it was
that it was gonna really harm him and it
all said he would give up hope and what
I wanted to do was lash out and
fortunately I didn’t lash out instead I
started focused on what is happening to
see so what can I do so I went to go see
him and talk to him and it was
unbelievable he looked like he just aged
ten years in a day cuz what happened is
he had no future there was no purpose in
fighting the pain or trying to make
things happen or you know trying to tell
stories or do anything because after all
you’re gonna die anyway soon and that
was kind of the way he was interpreting
it sure enough no matter what we said he
just didn’t seem to respond he’s just he
seemed to go into a total stupor and for
the next day and a half or so he just
sat in a corner and he’d really didn’t
say very much or communicate very much
he just said not to bother with him that
he was fine but he didn’t open up
emotionally I just sat down with him and
I I cried and I told him how much I
loved him and how much Becky loved him
and how he needed to share with us what
he was really feeling because you know
holding that back wasn’t keep protecting
us from pain we just felt separate from
him then we knew he could choose how
what this was gonna mean for his life
that he the doctors had told us three
years ago that he was gonna die within a
matter of months then and here it was
three years later I said what if you
would have just sat around for three
years in this little corner doing
nothing because you thought you’re gonna
die any day or any week I said that’d be
pretty crazy on he started laughs but I
said look at this I said you can’t just
sit off in this corner hey you might die
tomorrow you might die in six weeks you
might die in six months in my die in six
years you might die in ten or twenty
years and really screw these people’s
brains up I said it doesn’t matter how
long you’re gonna live what’s gonna
matters how are you gonna live while
you’re here I said you’ve lived an
incredible life honey in World War two
you
toilet you know you’re a businessman now
you’re this guy who’s touching this
little town up in Colorado everybody
knows you and cares about you and loves
you because you love them
I said you braise these incredible kids
I said you know if you’re gonna go go
out and style go out because you decided
to go out in an energy that you want to
where you really enjoy your life don’t
just shut down because somebody told you
life’s over cuz you buy into it don’t do
it and then he said well you know Tony
said the truth is I’m not afraid to die
and he said everything he said is true
he said you know my life has been so
rich he says I feel like you know I’ve
lived my purpose now you know I’m I look
around and I see my kids and I see what
they’re like as people and I see what
I’ve done and and I think maybe it’s
time for me to go now
I said listen if you’re deciding to do
that because you really want to go I
said then you know I love you let me
said oh you know I I’m sure I’m gonna
cry and I’m not gonna try and keep you
here and not as because we love you I
said but at the same time don’t leave
cuz somebody tells you it’s time to go
he said well I don’t know I said well
when it’s time to go you’ll know I said
you can go consciously you can decide
when it’s time you don’t have to wait
til the paynus on tenth you can’t stand
it but the same time don’t go any
quicker then your meaning is done and I
think right now you’re teaching your
family a lot of new lessons he said yeah
that’s probably true I said so what do
you want to do how do you want to do
things I said let’s get your Fanny out
of here let’s get about we have this
great conversation and talked about all
kinds of things I won’t bore you the
details but I let him know that you
never have to worry about his daughter
and and that she’d become the kind of
person he could always be proud of him
it was amazing cuz the next three four
five days he came to life all of a
sudden there was an purpose and things
again all of a sudden he was alive he’d
go out by the pool and tell stories and
so forth and he went over to the Polo
Grounds and did all kinds of just really
great things and then I went away for a
seminar and I came back two days later
and it was like he was gone he could
barely even talk he’s having a difficult
time holding himself up he had have
round-the-clock care for him pretty soon
he wasn’t able to carry on a
conversation he would start talking
gibberish and start seeing things that
were invisible and point to them
we could tell the end was coming and as
the end star to come there was more and
more pain and tears and we felt at all
and also at the same time reminded
ourselves that hey we’re making this
thing that it’s lost because if our
short-term thinking about this man in
his body and his presence but his life
will live on beyond just physical
presence here and for him what it
probably means his freedom finally be
free of the painful bodies been in for
so many years for him it’s a chance to
be with his wife Becky’s mom chance to
be with her the loved ones there was
another meaning that could give you joy
at the same time you’re feeling pain and
so will you try to focus on those then
one night I got home and all of a sudden
I was called by the nurse she told me
that thank his dad had just passed away
sure it was back then we cried and we
talked at the same time she felt
incredible sense of peace for him it’s
amazing how instantly how he felt could
change just by changing what we focused
on for moral loss to his game to the
feeling of joy for him to be free we
couldn’t control the event but we could
certainly direct our own minds I think
and beyond ourselves to something deeper
to a deeper meaning in life I got back
yesterday from going with Becky up to
this little town and ran Colorado
hold on I’d never been to before but
then she’d been there many times and I
got a chance to see where Cecil lived
and the impact he had he didn’t really
want a funeral he never liked people
quote put on airs for anything he was a
simple man with simple values and a
simple mission and when I got there I
looked around and he never explicitly
said what the mission of his life was a
purpose of his life but in a town of 14
people on we went out to this gravesite
put his body into the ground and
suddenly person after person who started
showing up we knew all 14 people be
there because we need
the mall they all loved him he was the
storyteller because the man who took an
old car years ago and painted it black
and white but a star on the side but a
dumb in the inside glasses made it look
like a police car so that people came
running through this little town which
consists about seven or eight buildings
that they might slow down his house was
called the rand yacht club because he
invited everybody up for coffee every
single morning at least 300 days a year
figure out how he could tell him a story
and cheer him up used to rent a
restaurant there called the liars lair
the reason was it because he had people
he’d tell people’s stories and II tell
the wildest tales and get people to
believe them sure enough after about 10
or 15 years they began to realize that
some of these things were stories and
they all laughed as they told me stories
about this incredible man who touched
their lives when we got to the graveside
not only did 14 people show up but in
this little town it’s four hours outside
of Denver people came from all over
people came from Wyoming people came
from Denver pretty soon there were a
hundred people at a gravesite where
there’s not supposed to be a service to
honor a man who touched their lives so
we said you know you don’t having a
formal service cuz that’s not what he
wanted but before we put his body in the
ground as a team I’d like to say
anything and they all talked about how
he touched them how their life was
greater because he was such a loving
soul and his smile and touch them that
his stories had touched them but just
his manner that he was a lover of people
and animals that because he’d been in
this town their lives would never be the
same the people who come through the
town just for a day just there’s a
little kindness he was a man who said if
you can’t say something nice about
somebody don’t say anything at all he
never said a negative word about anybody
in fact one man probably the most
telling tale of this man’s life he said
Cecil’s a kind of guy said his sat down
one day with him and said what are you
doing about all those rodents that keep
stealing all our animals are you poison
in the moon shooting at me at trapping
him are you kill him what are you doing
because they’re taking all my stuff
in Cecil said and I said I just plant
twice as much I thought what a life what
a man say his life was his mission
his mission was real simple love people
love animals love beings make the world
a little bit better by just being nice
he lived a life of significance one that
had meaning he didn’t go out and change
everything on earth he didn’t make a
billion dollars
he doesn’t have people writing him up
everywhere but he changed people’s lives
and he died in his sleep out of pain the
day he decided to go and he created in
his family a greater sense of courage to
look at life in a new way and a greater
sense of dedication to give even more he
added to our drive he had at our
commitment to be givers in life as he
was to any soul who had the privilege of
coming across his path
I hope it also makes you think about
what’s most important in your life I
remember an interview with Michael
Hendon in Life magazine when he knew he
was gonna go and he said quote somebody
should tell us right at the start of our
lives that were dying and we might live
life to the limit every minute of every
day do what I say whatever you want to
do do it now there are only so many
tomorrow’s if you and I are gonna live
our lives fully and then maybe sometimes
we can take the experiences of those
around us and learn from them we can
learn that in all of our lives worried
the warnings or examples
Cecil’s life was an incredible example
he didn’t think anything in life was
insignificant not a rodent not a flower
and not an animal not a stranger passing
through he lived by a philosophy that
they also live in Fiji by the way Fiji
was his favorite place the last things
he told me was the happiest time his
life last few years were the trips he
took to Fiji
I think it’s cuz he felt like there
everybody understood what he understood
the life is meant to be a happy to be a
joy to appreciate the little things as
well as the big things to appreciate one
another to be givers to be lovers of
life I say to you that if you’re driven
by anything other than your love then
your spirit and your desire to
contribute your desire to grow and
expand if you’re driven by their need to
please others if you’re driven by your
fear if you driven by your past maybe
it’s time to free yourself and the way
to do it is decide decide consciously
what you want your life to be about
decide consciously what’s the purpose of
your life something simple something you
can live every single day you know I
think that when I look at people’s lives
and I see the people who are having so
much difficulty I think the number one
reason why people fail to experience joy
and life experience life as a win it’s
not because their life isn’t the wind
because the wind can be just reaching
out and touching somebody around you the
wind can be just telling somebody that
you love them the wind can be taking
care of your body God’s temple
the wind can be stopping and feeling
grateful the wind could be anywhere you
don’t have to land on the moon to have
the wind and you can enjoy landing on
the moon too how much better to enjoy
the process because we’re gonna spend
most of our life in process towards the
achievement of goals and I’m not saying
don’t go do things and I’m not saying
don’t have grand schemes and dreams and
I’m not saying don’t do those because
our lives are better because people
dreamed huge dreams and they’ve made
them happen but I’m saying don’t do it
at the expense of not appreciating
what’s true along the way and with
cecil’s reminder service all those
little things that are so so important
and we’ve always believed they’re
important I feel like we’ve always lived
that they’re important but I just want
to redouble the effort it’s part of my
commitment to him and I saw and his
honor I challenge you to do the same I
challenge you to hold yourself to a
higher standard I challenge you to
realize that you’re here for a purpose
there’s something for you to do and be
here for yourself and for others you
can’t just do for others not do for
yourself or you won’t be here so this is
really designed to get you to ask
yourself are you being efficient are you
being effective in your life there’s a
big difference if you’re being efficient
then what you’re doing is you’re doing
things right but if you’re being
effective you’re doing the right things
are you doing the things that are gonna
give you the most joy in your life why
are you doing what you’re doing and
where is it taking you you know we all
need to have what I call a code of
conduct a set of standards we hold
ourselves to every day about how we’re
gonna be as people the kinds of states
we’re gonna live in because it’s out of
those states that we affect everyone
around us just stop and think about
what’s most important think about why
you’re here what’s the purpose of your
life step out of the moment and into
eternity think about what’s eternal when
you’re feeling insecure start to realize
there is something inside of you that is
never-ending that there’s something
inside of you that is unchangeable and
that’s the part of you that knows what
is right what to do and why you’re here
so you know it may sound metaphysical it
may sound religious or spiritual call it
whatever you want
but know that the bottom line is that
you are here for a reason
and that it’s a special reason that only
you know and it may be that you haven’t
found it because you’re looking for
something huge and it may be that you’re
living it right now you’re just not
appreciating your purpose maybe what
you’re doing right now is your life
purpose this thing that you detest most
or maybe what it is doing is giving you
the challenge to really discover
something within yourself that allow you
to give and be more cuz life is about
two things being and doing how are you
gonna be as a human being I mean
ultimately our destiny is who do we
become as people and what do you do what
do you contribute that’s what it’s about
that’s what gives us a sense of
fulfillment and a life of significance
is one of growth and contribution it’s
one you decide what your life’s about
simply are you what are you here for you
here to live to learn to grow to share
to love what are you here for I’m asking
these questions I’m hoping you’re
thinking not just listening to me
what is the special plan for you you’ve
got to discover the purpose of your life
there is a plan there is something here
for you that’s different than anybody
else in the world and you’ve got to
discover what it is and the best way to
discover is just trust your instinct and
say what is if it was simple it was
clear and I was living your day why am I
here coz if you never discover your
purpose how can you ever win the game of
life how can you really enjoy it
thoroughly I look around at people soft
and they’re so unhappy and I think the
reason is that they don’t ever win the
game of life it’s a game they feel like
they can’t win like they’re always
losing and the reason number one is I
think there’s seven reasons I’ll give
you seven I’ve jotted some down here I
think number one is I think most people
never win the game of life I never feel
fulfilled I never feel joy because they
don’t know the purpose of the game if
you don’t know the purpose of the game
what’s your chances of ever winning I’ve
ever gettin ring the bell feel that
sense of fulfillment or joy or passion
or love or whatever it is that you truly
want at the deepest level see if you
don’t know the purpose the game you
don’t know the goal is pretty hard to
set up your game to win isn’t it pretty
soon you start pursuing things that
don’t give you fulfillment live in
somebody else’s life other than your own
you gotta know what are you doing it all
for what do you really want when I ask
most people this question what do you
want they give me answers like well I
know
I don’t want to live this way anymore I
don’t want to feel like hell anymore
that’s not gonna give you what you want
what do you really want oh I want to
finally be financially secure so I can
retire great
you know statistics about retirement
actuary is statistics from insurance
companies show the three years after a
man retires specifically I’m using men
guess what happens he dies to retire is
to die and for some people this is like
their major aim think about it
retirement is gonna make you happy you
gotta have a purpose you got to know
what it is you got to decide what it is
at least for now and know that that
vision will continue to expand second
reason why most people fail the game
called life cuz even though they don’t
know the purpose of the game they got
tons of rules about how it must be
played they don’t even know the goal
they got all these rules they gotta live
by and not only do they have rules for
themselves but they have rules for
everybody else around them rules for how
their spouse should be rules about how
their boss should be rules from people
they don’t even know on the street
should be you know it’s so often in life
we get upset with other people and it’s
not about the other people it’s about
our rules they’re doing something we
know they shouldn’t be doing or they’re
not doing something we know they should
be doing right we need to just relax a
little bit we need to realize that
whatever people are doing they got a
reason it may not be a very intelligent
reason by our perspective but who are we
to say and you know what and maybe it
isn’t an intelligent reason by lots of
people’s ideas but you know what is a
reason I mean it all comes down how do
we wire ourselves as human beings see
whenever you see somebody you think
they’re doing something crazy have some
compassion
are there any stupid things you’ve never
done in your lifetime or crazy
I would hallucinate based on my own
personal experience the answer may be
you betcha from the bottom line is we
got to understand that things are going
on that we don’t understand what people
I remember one time I was talking to
Stephen Covey about times where we
misinterpreted people’s behavior and he
told me about this time when I got on a
subway and this man walked in and
brought on a bunch of his kids and they
were just running rampant screaming
yelling making noise creating havoc and
you know Stephens more of a mellow
centered kind of guy he doesn’t like the
kind of environment even on the subway
and the bottom line is you know he
didn’t want to say anything but he found
himself getting more and more irritating
the man seemed to be just ignoring the
kids like they don’t even matter what
they were doing so he found himself
the point where he actually spoke up so
Steven turned him and said you know do
you think you might want to do something
about these children and the man looked
at him and said oh yeah I guess I should
huh he said we just got back to the
hospital and her mother just died he
said I just don’t think they know how to
deal with it he said quite honestly
neither do I said he felt like absolute
garbage and he said it made him from
then on and realize whatever’s going on
there may be something else going on as
well I mean I have compassion gave him
fewer rules for other people in his life
not a bad idea but we were talking about
people that don’t succeed in life and I
hope they succeed one they don’t know
the purpose of the game two they got
tons of rules even though they’re one of
the purpose how’d you like to be in a
game and you’re trying to win and you
don’t know the goal and you got a
zillion rules you got to live by it’ll
be pretty frustrating wouldn’t it well
ads step three do it here’s the third
reason people fail to win the game of
life and that is because their rules are
in conflict we’ve got all these
different special rules where we
contradict ourselves we’re in one
situation you’re supposed to be one way
and another situation is supposed to be
totally different in order to be
effective see if you got a bunch of
rules in conflict which most of us do
you’re gonna have pain you’re gonna have
frustrations in your life here’s the
fourth reason why most people won’t win
the game of life because even when the
person plays by the rules they don’t
always win in other words you do
everything right you don’t always get
rewarded you give your all you put your
heart and soul on the line you do
everything right and still sometimes it
rains on your parade sometimes you know
a storm comes down and beat the death
out of your crop all of a sudden you’re
in the Midwest and the flood comes and
destroys all you’ve worked on you know
that kind of messes your brain a little
bit you start saying hey you know why
even try there’s no meaning this
everything I do is for naught that’s
worthless not realizing there’s a deeper
meaning there’s a meaning beyond the
moment that what’s happening in this
life right now this event you can’t
control whether it’s the loss of a
father as Becky has gone through and a
father-in-law as I have or there’s loss
of a business or anything that seems to
be a loss is a gain if you ask yourself
how can I use this what else can this
mean if I can’t use it today how will I
use this someday how can I turn this
into opportunity how can I make myself
more how can I use this pain to sculpt
my soul what can I do right now to move
myself forward these are the kinds of
questions they’ll support you
that was me why me why this have to
happen you’ll never get an answer to
those those questions are leave you in
an endless loop here’s the fifth reason
why most people fail in the game called
life sometimes you break the rules and
you win oh my gosh you do something you
know isn’t right you do something you
know you shouldn’t do something that’s
against your own values against your own
way of doing things and you get pleasure
and your brain goes hey for maybe
there’s some new rules out here maybe I
don’t have to live by these rules after
all when I work my butt off and did
everything right and help myself to size
standard I got pain I break the rule I
got pleasure maybe this is how it’s
really wired maybe out of just like take
a look at life being this way you know
it does it takes you away from your
higher purpose it takes you away from
what’s most important in your life and
while you might get pleasure in the
short term you give up that sense of
dignity within yourself that says you’re
doing the right thing that’s what causes
more people to fail with and I think
almost anything else cuz the ultimate
pleasure in life requires sometimes
short-term pain to get to it and that
ultimate pleasures who you become what
you contribute and the experience of
life that you have because of that
growth and contribution the sixth reason
when most people fail the game called
life is because in order to win this
game you got to work with five and a
half billion other people all have the
wrong rules they don’t know the purpose
of the game either and they are real
clear that there are certain rules you
must live by we all have different rules
because we’ve all learned different ways
of getting out of pain and into pleasure
in life we got to learn from one another
and finally the seventh reason why most
people fail the game called life it says
they think it’s a life and death game
and you say well it is a life and death
game well I’m the first person to agree
that this is not a practice session this
is the real thing that’s all I got to
live it full on but if you think
everything is life and death every
moment you put so much pressure on
yourself that you truly will not live
life you’ll live in fear and that’s no
life at all how do you live life and win
the game well in spite of all the stuff
that sounds so terrible there are people
that seem to be winning seem to be
fulfilled seem to be making a difference
seem to have a great deal of joy in
their life and they seem to have it
consistently and they’re not doing it
through drugs or alcohol or distraction
they’re doing it through living a life
of significance how they done it they do
what we do in our date with destiny
seminar we accomplished seven things in
that seminar and I bring it up because I
hope you’ll take the time and actually
come or get your perp
your mission statement and your values
all in the exact order you ideally need
them to be so you’re being pulled the
direction you want sitting pulled in
multiple directions but for right now
here’s what we do here’s what we’re
gonna start doing on this tape it’s the
first thing these people have to succeed
or fulfilled as they decided what the
purpose of the game is at least for
right now do you follow me on this they
said okay I don’t know what the purpose
is ultimately but let me just decide for
right now the purpose of my life as to
what it’s to love and be loved is to
grow it’s to expand it’s to make a
difference through this is do that they
come up with a purpose which is what I
want you to do at the end of this tape
to start I know it’s not the end all and
be all from one tape but I want to get
you started on a mission statement a
purpose statement for your life you got
to have it if you don’t at least have a
target if you don’t know what the goal
of the game is you don’t know what to
decide to do we have all these choices
all these opportunities so you don’t
have to choose between something that’s
good and bad you have to change between
something that’s good and something
that’s great but if you don’t know what
your purpose is if you don’t know you
value most in life you can’t make an
easy decision all decision making is
value clarification so if you don’t know
where you’re going then you can get
there by any road you’re not gonna know
the difference you know everything looks
like great opportunity one of the
biggest challenges in life is choosing
focusing your life deciding what to
spend your time on what to spend your
energy on having a clear purpose allows
you to do that the second thing you want
to do to make your life work and those
who succeed do this is they have fewer
rules the more rules you have about how
people have to be and how life has to be
for you to be happy the less happy
you’re gonna be see you know the
happiest people those people say you
know every day above ground is a great
day the happiest people that people find
joy in a smile joy an adventure joy in a
simple action so if you can find joy in
that area then all the big things are
just a big bonus for you in your life so
when you find yourself starting to react
to something that someone else has done
and then you might want to ask yourself
how significant is this really right is
this so bad is it okay for this person
to have a different opinion a different
view a different feeling than me in this
area in most cases you might say yeah it
is what would you have to believe in
order to be upset that everybody has to
live by your rules well maybe in some
areas that’s real important you may be
some others it’s not a significant you
just let go
have a lot less pain the third thing
that people win the game of life seem to
have in common is they’ve made their
rules consistent they found the
conflicts in their life and when they
find them they’ve been honest in himself
and say this is a total contradiction of
what I normally believe in other areas
No More there’s not I’m going to live my
life for thing these people do that make
them succeed as they give themself
pleasure whenever they win even when the
world doesn’t this is really important
you kind of realized that sometimes
you’ll do everything right you won’t get
acknowledged so what acknowledged
yourself you got to catch yourself doing
little things right and give yourself
the pleasure you deserve after all if
somebody else tells you hey great job
and that makes you feel good
it’s nothing saying great job that makes
you feel good it’s when they say great
job you stop and say oh that means I get
to feel good and you send a little
neurotransmitter that allows yourself to
feel the pleasure feeling in your body
why not just give it to yourself so that
you keep yourself on track so you’re
always reinforcing good behaviors
excellent behaviors commitments to your
highest values fifth thing these people
have in common is when they screw up
when they don’t do things right when
they violate their own values when they
violate their own sense of purpose in
life they give them self a short burst
of pain they say this is not who I am I
stand for more they don’t wait to the
world to have to give them pain that’s
why they’re on track the sixth thing
that these people that win have in
common is that they know that everybody
life has different rules and so when
they get in a relationship with people
they know they’ve got to have other
people in our life to help succeed in
particular area they try to find out
their rules because if you know it’s
most important to people if you know
what their rules for life are what their
musts are in life it’s a lot easier and
lastly people who succeed in life
they’ve learned that life has a purpose
but they also at the same time don’t
take life too seriously
they don’t take themselves too seriously
what’s that old funny metaphor why do
angels fly because they take themselves
lately right the bottom line is we’ve
got to look at life in a different way
now with all this conversation we’ve had
here about purpose what are you and I
going to do right now so that you have a
greater sense of meaning well one is I
don’t need you just go out and create
this grandiose purpose and write pages
and pages and pages I think that the
simplest things can be the most powerful
things so if you can now close your eyes
and think about what you want to be when
you were going to
grow up go back to a time when you’re
five six seven eight nine ten years old
but you want to be back then what you
want to do who are your role models and
why did you want to be that think about
it just for a second your head as I’m
saying this if it might be want to write
a few these things down in fact pretty
soon you’re definitely gonna want to
write things down so it might be good to
stop the tape right here and just think
about what your purpose is and pull out
a piece of paper and a pen or a little
computer and let’s work together on this
for a second what were some of the
things you wanted to be when you were
growing up when you’re a little kid I
remember one of the first things I
wanted to be was an archaeologist now
whatever you wanted to be here’s the
question I want to ask you why did you
want to be that in other words what was
the feeling you were hoping to get from
that what were the sensations what were
you wanting to be and do what were you
wanted to get from that and when I think
back on I think about what I really want
to be as an archaeologist is I wanted to
discover things I mean that was the
biggest thing I want to discover things
that had not been a scare before
something new something unique something
different and I wanted to share that
with people I wanted to be a person who
went out discovered and then shared that
discovery with others and you know it’s
interesting I’m doing that today
I’m just not sticking my head in the
sand and doing it I’m doing it by
sticking my head in other people’s
brains and find out what makes them tick
and what find out what makes me tick and
then sharing some of that but that that
feeling that same feeling that I wanted
then I found a way to do it today in a
new way and so I challenge you think
about what was it you really wanted from
that then think of something else you
wanted to be when you’re growing up I
wanted to also be a police artist later
on remember that you know those guys
that draw those pictures you know and
show people and catch the bad guys and
why did I want to do that what I want to
get from that oh gosh I thought about it
why I wanted to create I wanted to be
creative and and I wanted to help people
I wanted to help people do the right
things I wanted to be father payment I
wanted to catch the bad guys but most
importantly I wanted to create and help
people well guess what I found a way to
do that today different than I
originally thought but the same purpose
is there now maybe it’s not the same
purpose for you for all the things you
want to do maybe they have a common
thread or maybe they’re different
threads that are important what else did
you want to be when you’re going up and
why did you want it what feelings did
you hope it would give you what do you
hope would come from it think for a
second
I’ll give you another one in mine while
you’re thinking try and trigger you what
else I want to do well I wanted to
definitely be a rock star I wanted to be
able to entertain people to change their
emotional states to use my voice in my
face in my body to give people more
passion in their lives and I found
another way to do that plus I get to
work with some of these people the other
day I got a chance to go to the
Aerosmith concert I kind of grew up
listening to those guys and I found out
the Steven Tyler and some of these guys
are fans of mine as well went backstage
and I met Tim Collins who’s their
manager and he told me a phenomenal
story said that years ago in the early
80s when Aerosmith was in really bad
shape the guys were hooked on heroin and
they were losing everything financially
and the group had broken up that he
decided he’s gonna turn it around and he
read two books Think and Grow Rich and a
little book called unlimited power and
he said that what he learned there gave
him the inspiration and some of the
tools and strategies to get himself off
heroin and coke and they needed a group
intervention and help the other guys do
the same and these guys are now in a
mission they’re totally clean they’re
Evian water drinking guys that are out
there sharing their rock and roll and
their message and they’re doing
healthfully I got a chance to meet
Steven Tyler is just an incredible guy I
mean these guys have been touring for 23
years giving their all passionately
every day I feel like their brothers and
I was really interesting because he said
you know I watch on TV all the time I
feel like we’re walk on the same path
you know and he said I listened to your
tapes he said we really have the same
mission so you know do you think you’d
get together us and do a gig for us I
said what do you mean he’s like you know
the guys on the weekend could you maybe
like do your gig for us so we can all
participate on the weekend as their a
laugh and I’ve pinched myself I said how
cool now I get to do a gig for Aerosmith
I’m not out there rock and rolling but
sort of I am I’m working with the rock
and rollers those fun so my point is
maybe you’re not doing what you
originally envisioned but maybe you’ll
find a way to do it even better if you
have some faith maybe if you keep
developing yourself and you know at
least the emotion you want the
contribution you want to create you’ll
find a better way most importantly
before you can find a way you got to
know the essence of what it is you
really want what is that purpose that’s
what I’m really asking you about now
with your eyes closed again think about
a situation in your life when you felt
like you’re really on a roll
you know the kind of situation I’m
talking about well you just felt
incredibly good at great feelings where
things were just flowing and things were
effortless when you thought yourself Wow
I love this this is what life’s about I
love this is it this is this is what
life is really about
can you remember time like that in your
life at any age young or old well you
really felt like you’re in that flow
even this is it this is what life’s
about think of a situation like that
right now remember that time step back
into your mind back in your body like
you were then and look through your own
eyes as you were then when you felt like
this is what life’s about and see what
you saw hear what you heard what were
you doing what were you feeling
what would the state you were in what
were you experiencing yeah think about
it and tell me what is it and it was
there anything in common with this with
some of the other things you wanted to
have in your life the feelings you
wanted to have maybe you wanted to grow
or create or contributer discover or
expand or challenge what is it love what
were the feelings and what were you
doing and then when you get a sense of
what that was then think about this
think of another situation in your life
think of a second one when you felt like
you’re on a roll at some other point in
your life when things were flowing when
you felt this is it this is what life’s
about I love this think of another time
like that we step into that situation as
well
step into it right now as you step in
that situation look around see what you
saw and hear what you heard then feel
what you were feeling men what was
happening in that moment not just what
you were doing notice what you were
doing were you creating or writing or
speaking communicating or or
manufacturing something or studying or
learning and what were you doing but
also how are you feeling what would the
state you’re in and what were you doing
for others that they were involved with
other people involved what was the
process what how are you being and what
were you doing feel in your body
is there anything but this is similar
between this and last experience or
anything about this that’s similar
between this and the feelings that you
wanted from those things you wanted to
be when you’re gonna grow up
that’s it notice it and capture not only
the idea of this but the feeling as well
now one more time think of something
else another time at any age when you
felt like you’re on a major role things
were really flowing we felt incredible
when you felt like I love this this is
what life’s really about this is it
think of another situation like that
right now and as you step into that
situation right now notice what were you
doing what were you creating what we
have sharing what were you feeling
feeling these feelings think about the
purpose of your life if you were gonna
say it in a simple phrase not even
paragraphs in paragraphs simple phrase
or a sentence or two and you’re gonna
write down the purpose of my life is to
what if you’re gonna do it you’re gonna
have a couple simple criteria one has
got to be stated positive not the
personal life is to stop all the
horrible things in the world no no
something positive something stated in
the positive and info it’s gonna be
something brief and it was gonna be
something emotionally charged in terms
of its words for you
and it has to have how you’re gonna be
as a person and what are you gonna do
and it’s got to include not just other
people like I’m gonna change other
people’s lives or I’m gonna make the
world better for other people it’s gotta
you got to be in your own mission
statement you got to be your own purpose
statement you got to be in there too and
other people don’t have a purpose of my
life is for me to be happy cuz we’re all
connected so if it’s you and others
being and doing brief ensure what is the
purpose of your life what is it right
now what comes out of your head not the
right answer not the perfect answer just
the answer the purpose your life is to
be and do what for yourself another just
say it out loud just say it don’t even
write it down first and you got pen and
paper then write it down purpose my life
is to what say it again try something
keep changing it and if you write it
down each time it’ll give you better saw
it I’d prefer if you wrote it down but
just come up with something the purpose
of my life for me Tony Robbins is to
serve God and my fellow man by being a
powerful loving passionate outrageous
courageous strong playful crazy example
of the unlimited possibilities that God
gives when you commit your life to
service when you really focused on
contribution that’s what my life’s about
I know what I feel and I can change the
word slightly here and there but I know
the essence of my life and you’ve got to
know what that is for you that is what
will help you to make the decisions
that’ll give you the motivation to get
up early and stay up late that’ll make
you connect with people in a way you’ve
never connected before but you got to
know what it is
and it’s got to be more than just you
you and others gonna debrief it’s got to
be emotional it’s got to be intense so
go do it right now turn off the tape and
just start writing like crazy what is
the purpose of your life and when you
write something write another thing
write another one keep writing it better
and better – you got something you like
them – turn the tape back on go for it
do it now
the purpose of your life is to what
you did turn the state Bob didn’t you
you’re not just sitting there thinking
come on if you write it out it’ll be
better with more precision turn it off
and if you’re on your way back then just
ignore the last sentence welcome back
daddy you got something you really like
I hope so I know it’s not the end-all
be-all and it better not be perfect or
I’m going to come through this tape and
grab you your job is not to be perfect
it’s to be excellent perfection can
never really be achieved anyway if
you’re truly a perfectionist then it’s
never perfect but it’s getting better
all the time so what is the purpose of
your life and how does it feel and you
think about this is the purpose of my
life and let me give you one other
criteria did you write it so you can
only achieve it once you die if so
change it because we don’t want you have
to die to achieve your purpose which is
what some people have it should be
something you can experience every day
know whatever you do whether you’re just
sitting at the lunch counter you’re
walking through a grocery store you’re
going and conducting your business I
don’t care what it is it should be
something you can feel and you gotta
find what that is for you and I had a
language that at least for now see and
know the goal of the game with that your
life takes on a whole nother dimension
so as you go out over the next month try
something
take this purpose statement and keep in
front of you put it in the system used
for managing your time and keeping your
to-do list put it up on the wall nearby
and as you look at it each day don’t
just write it and forget about it think
about each day how can I live my purpose
more when you go to make a decision
about doing something and you’re not
sure why you’re doing it you can always
go back to your purpose you can do it
going into a meeting you don’t already
go in the meeting room I’m going to
media I’m gonna be powerful loving
passionate ray just play for them and
inspire people to see what’s possible if
we really serve all the people around us
that’s not how to figure out you have a
guiding principle no matter what happens
principles don’t change the essence of
who you are will not change the
environment may change the vehicles may
change but what’s inside of you won’t
let me say one final thing to you before
is sin to you often have you take some
more time to work on your mission
statement one is if you want to send me
your mission statement to Robbins
research I’d love to receive it I’d love
to see how you’ve language the purpose
of your life so if you feel like doing
that please do and address it to me
personally but the other thing is this I
want you to realize that very often not
getting your dream
gives you your destiny what I mean by
that is this so often as I said when we
started this tape people set up a goal
or a demon they don’t get it and then he
feels so disappointed so frustrated
sometimes resentful towards others or to
their creator or towards themselves for
not accomplishing or achieving it but
the truth of the matter is whenever
something happens you must find an
empowering meaning you must ask yourself
how can I use this if this was to serve
a higher purpose in my life how would I
use it to serve a higher purpose if this
was gonna make me into somebody more how
would I use it to make me more and very
often in life if you really look back on
your life the worst situations in your
life have been the best if you were
willing to trust that it happened for a
reason that somehow even though this is
painful you’d never want it to happen
again somehow this is gonna serve you
maybe you were hurt by someone or some
situation but because of that your kids
will never be hurt the same way you did
when you were a child or maybe you went
through some tough time but because of
that you help somebody else so they
won’t have to go through the same pain
you did maybe the pain made you make a
new decision to send you in a brand new
direction that brought you to this
destiny I really truly believe in my
heart of hearts that if we’re willing to
trust and have faith and look for
answers and actively pursue them that
every human experience supports us even
those that are painful and I believe we
can probably do them without the pain
well if the pain does strike or
something happens outside your control
which it will that instead of living in
fear that’ll happen someday you want to
live from the sense of certainty that
says no matter what happens I will
benefit from it because I will look for
benefits and therefore I will find them
it’s that simple and I’ll give you a
good metaphor you know there’s a great
movie I’m sure you recall was called
Field of Dreams in it they said if you
build it they will come
in the movie Kevin Costner seeks out an
old man by the name of dr. am he’s
played by Burt Lancaster and when he
first meets this man he’s going to see
him to tell him about a field of dreams
that Kevin has developed a place where
these old men could come back and play
again
to be young again to live their dream
and when he meets doc Graham he starts
to talk to him he says I understand that
you only were able to play one inning in
your life because I Graham said well
yeah my whole life’s dream was always to
play baseball to be up
fashion oh he said every single day I
gave my all I lived this passion he said
you know I I took ground balls in
batting practice and I pushed myself and
he said finally I made it I made it to
the big leagues and the whole season
went by without my being able to play
and finally at the end of the season in
the eighth inning the coach looked over
at me and said kid I want you in right
field he said I was so happy I couldn’t
believe it I ran out onto the field and
he said I stood out there in right field
waiting for somebody hit it to me
waiting for my chance and nothing
happened then when we came back in he
said my turn to bat never came and the
next year they without giving me another
chance or even giving me a chance they
sent me back to the minor leagues and he
said I couldn’t I just couldn’t take it
I couldn’t take going through that again
so I quit and kevin costner said oh my
god that’s unbelievable
what incredible pain what devastation
that must have destroyed you I mean for
any man to be that close to his dream
and have your dream pass you by as if it
doesn’t even know it’s you he said that
that must have been the most destructive
painful thing that that that’s a total
disaster and when my gram said no son he
said playing baseball for only five
minutes was not a disaster
playing baseball for only five minutes
was not devastating what would have been
a disaster what would have been
devastating is if I’d only been a doctor
for five minutes you see if I would hit
that baseball that may have been the
bigger disaster because then I never
would have come to this little town I
never would have saved this man’s life
or delivered that little girl or got to
know the people that now my best friends
in the world he said that would have
been a disaster in other words sometimes
not getting your dream gives you what
you really want what you really need
what you’re really destined for and if
that part of the movie didn’t give it to
you they followed up with another scene
finally there’s a chance you know Kevin
Costner makes arrangements and he said
listen there’s this field of dreams you
can come on it you can be young again
you can live your dream still and he
brings moonlight Graham to the field
with all the other players and when he
steps out on the field he’s young again
and he’s wearing his uniform and he can
feel the warm sunshine on his body again
and these youthful muscles and the smell
the fresh cut grass and the baseball in
his hand and finally they are beginning
to play and just as moonlight Graham is
finally stepping in the batter’s box
finally he’s gonna get a chance to get
that hit in life in professional
baseball his dream right at that moment
there’s a scream in the stands because
Kevin Costner and his brother having a
conversation and his brother doesn’t see
these players on the field he doesn’t
have his faith to experience the beauty
and the joy and the fun and what’s right
there in front of him he can’t see it
because of his lack of faith and as
they’re arguing about this
he accidentally turns and knocks Kevin
Costner’s daughter off the top of the
stands she falls and hits her head and
she starts turning blue and so all of a
sudden they start yelling oh my god oh
my god what we can do we gotta save her
she’s dying she’s dying in the whole
sudden Costner sisters we need a doctor
we need a doctor and just as he hears
those words moonlight Graham is about to
swing the bat
he says I’m a doctor he starts running
full blast to help this child but all of
a sudden he stops and he looks down and
there in front of him is the foul line
the foul line that divides the field of
dreams from the other world and he knows
if he crosses it he can never go back he
can never live his dream he doesn’t
hesitate anymore
he immediately steps across and he saves
the child’s life he loses his dream but
he lives his destiny the moral is very
simple inside each one of us there are
desires that we have for our personality
those things that we want to avoid pain
and want to gain pleasure for but there
are also moral needs though those needs
inside of us to go beyond ourselves to
something greater to something more to
give of ourselves in a way that maybe
we’ve never given before maybe a way
there won’t even be acknowledged but
will give us the grace
sense of fulfillment we’ve ever dreamed
of in our lives I say to you that if
what you’ve tried so far hasn’t worked
all of this is preparing you for more
but don’t wait for the ultimate day when
you save a life start saving a life
today by enjoying the one you have start
saving a life today by touching the
people around you you know do what Cecil
did be a person that loves people
animals beings be a person when things
don’t call you well plant twice as much
be a person who gives more than anybody
else gives and you’ll be living your
purpose no matter how you language it
hold yourself to a higher standard and
someday you’ll see something more
dramatic but along the way you’ll enjoy
the joy of knowing that you’re living
your life’s purpose today isn’t that
what life’s really about not waiting
until some day living it today hey I
want to thank you for spending this time
with me I am so grateful to God to have
the opportunity to connect with you as
if we’ve been friends for years and
we’ve not even met but I hope in this
time together that you’ve found some
some strategies some tools and maybe
found a piece of yourself reminded
yourself with the truth of how unique
and special you are not an egotistical
way but everyone is everyone is unique
and special in some way and to think
less of yourself is to slap the face of
your Creator you’ve been given gifts and
it’s time to make them real and get in
the edge has been about sharing with you
some of those tools and the most
important ones are taking that time for
yourself please do that for yourself
consistently if you did nothing else out
of this but that I promise you you’ll
see your future unfold and you’ll hear
the whispers of destiny
you’ll hear the guidance that’s within
you but you got to take time to be alone
and do that and if you do it every day
you’ll see a change if you go through
that results workshop and just change
anything you’re not willing to settle
for any more and be honest with yourself
if you take and make those relationships
magnificent and not settle in this area
either my god everything in life changes
when you’ve got someone to share with
that you’ll love everyone you’ve ever
been a relationship with is a bonus to
you it’s
God’s great gifts but if you can find
that soulmate you got everything and I
have to say that for me finding my
soulmate finding my wife’s age was the
richest day of my life and every day as
Richard because of it I hope for you my
prayer for you is you find someone like
that that you have that kind of love for
and they have that kind of love for you
or if they’re there that you treasure
them and you find a way to make that
juicier every single day if you do that
on top of it you energize and alkalis
and get that vitality in your body can
master your finances turn your emotions
into your friend and you find your
purpose then the life you create will be
so much greater than your dreams your
old dreams will seem like cartoons by
comparison to the life you’re living and
if you’re able to make those kinds of
changes you’ll be able to stand proud
knowing you’re the one that did it but
also have a special pride knowing that
maybe I helped in some little way to
guide you deeper into connecting with
yourself
because the ultimate edge is connection
with yourself with your Creator with
your friends with your family with life
itself and if you do that then these 7
sessions were certainly well worth both
our time so I wish you well my friend
and for now I saved so long but I hope
I’ll see you sometime soon and you’ll
share with me the story of your success
and what you’ve done please email me
right near come see me in a seminar I’d
love to meet you personally but until
then make sure that every day is lived
to the fullest don’t settle for less
than you can be do you want a few do
versus the men you talk and be sure to
live with passion
god bless I hope to see you soon
[Music]

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